"5 STEPS TO A MORE FULFILLING LIFE"

Welcome to Lesson Four:

Discovering the Purpose of Your Life

Welcome to lesson four of “5 Steps to a More Fulfilling Life”

So far we’ve looked that the power of your self-image, modelling the structure of success and how to get the theatre of your mind working for you rather than against you. Each of these is a valuable area to master in your life, and today’s topic is going to add a lot extra depth and richness to what you have already discovered. We are going to explore your true values and how they are intrinsically linked to your life’s purpose.

 

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

 

Whenever I meet anyone who is unsatisfied with the state of their life, it usually only takes a short conversation to discover that they spend a lot of time doing things that conflict with their true personal values. An example of this is someone who is highly creative at heart, but whose job requires them to stick to the rules. Or a gentle caring type of person who is surrounded by hard nosed straight talkers. It’s quite easy in today’s society to fall into the rut of maintaining a lifestyle, while forgetting what it is that makes that lifestyle important to us in the first place.

We all have a set of values that define our inner characters, and when we are prevented from doing the things that put us in touch with these values we can begin to feel frustrated or even empty. Numerous studies into what makes people happy have consistently shown that the most important ingredient is having plenty of opportunity to express your true self.

The best way of understanding what a value is, is to think about the personal qualities that you feel are important to have for yourself. There is a clue in the name. When you demonstrate certain traits in your character you get a feeling of rightness or connected to a sense of personal integrity and that you a being true to yourself. It is how you add ‘value’ to your life and the lives of others. Without fail your true values have a positive intention and are the foundation of your ability to make a difference in the world.

Money can be a very handy bonus for most of us, but do not mistake financial or material status as a true personal value. I once had very bizarre conversation with a man who said he works all hours God sends so that one day he will be rich enough to have more time to spend with his family!!! Why doesn’t he ditch the job and live that value now? If your life is not currently reflecting what’s important to you, how could you plan to change it so that you are free to be the fullest most positive expression of yourself?

It is easy to get blindsided by the material rewards of success, but you must never be fooled into thinking that it is the trinkets of life that provide the value of life. As the Zen Master, Hsi-Tang Chih Tsang once said:

“Although gold dust is precious, when it gets in your eyes it obstructs your vision.”

So, if you have never really thought about what your values are before, what can you do to identify them?

Perhaps one of the most powerful ways of doing this is to think about what you will want to have achieved by the end of your life. Please bear in mind that the follow exercise is not meant to be a sad or frightening experience, but rather a joyful celebration of how you are going to make a difference in the world and touch the lives of those around you.

1. Imagine that you have floated out of your body and traveled as a visitor to another time way, way off into the future. You arrive at an event where there is a large gathering of people and you realize that it is in fact your own funeral. You recognise everyone in the crown as being the people who have played important roles in your life, and they have all come out of deep love and respect for you.

2. Notice that there are four people who have lined up so say a few words about you, your life and the difference you have made to them and the also in the world. They are:

a. Your partner or a close family member
b. Your best friend
c. Someone you work with such as a colleague, boss or client
d. Someone from your wider community such as charity, church, or club to which you have contributed

3. Get yourself a piece of paper, divide it into four, and write down your hope for what you’d want each of these people to say about you and the life you have lived. What do you want them to say about how you have influenced their own lives? Imagine this from the stand point that you have lived your best possible life and achieved some wonderful goals.

4. Then let yourself actually imagine each person getting up to give their eulogy. Really feel their words and be moved by their genuine spirit.

5. Once you have experienced this think about where there are recurring themes, e.g. did they all say you were compassionate or courageous or something else? What kind of achievements had you accomplished?

6. Float back to the present moment and back into your body. Hold onto the learning.

The answer to the questions posed in step 5 should give you a good insight into the values you feel are important to uphold. Identifying the personal achievements you would like to have made a difference with and to have had recognised by others gives you an idea about what you consider your purpose to be. Examples:

Values: Creativity, Honesty, Compassion, Selflessness and Unconditional Love

Purpose: To make a positive difference to the lives of others

Write down what you now consider your values and purpose to be.

Now you can use this information to construct a personal mission statement. This is a short, concise explanation of how you intent to fulfill your life purpose by living your highest values. The reason for doing this is two fold. 1, it really focuses the mind on how you need to be directing your life in order to achieve personal fulfillment and 2, it will serve as a reminder to you in the future when you inevitably stray a little off course.

Using the previous example the mission statement might read:

“My mission is demonstrate love and compassion by finding creative ways for improving the quality of life to those less fortunate than me”

Your mission statement might read completely differently to this, but as long as it communicates your intention to meet your purpose through your values, and it feels good when you read it back, then it is the right one for you.

Some people who complete this exercise question whether their mission statement is ‘good enough’. They may ask “Is that how I should really be living my life? How do I know there isn’t a different cause I should be committing to” to which a perfect answer is this quote from Harold Whitman:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that, because the world needs people who come alive.”

 

So here’s my question to you. What makes YOU come alive? Get yourself a mission statement that’s exciting and compelling to you. Write it down on a card and carry it everywhere you go. Look at it often. But most importantly recognise what you need to be doing in your life today to make sure you are living up to it.

When you think about that celebration at the end of your life, what are you doing on a daily basis to make those eulogies true?

Remember, your mission statement does not have to be set in stone. You can (and should) return this as many times as you like until it feels just right for you.

So what are you waiting for? Live with purpose.

Until next time, have a wonderful week.